Oh ye bloggers that I love, heed my advice. Be wary of promising a five part series. The internal pressure to deliver is great. Bed times, teething, and the realities of family life seldom co-operate. You run the risk of losing steam before you've made your final points. And, most significantly, you become neurotic worrying about how many people you have alienated and just plain pissed off along the way. Lordy, I am so looking forward to tomorrow when I will be a blogger again and not this freakish monster of a "META-BLOGGER."
However the chips may fall at the end of this series (and believe me, a lot--of the dill pickle and bbq variety--have fallen at my feet while I typed), keep this in mind: I may be many things but I am NOT a promise-breaker.
Shall I begin with the briefest of recaps?
I love the parenting blogosphere because:
1) parents, mainly mothers, have gotten together to take back authority for their parenting from the pseudo-scientific experts (part 1);
2) in doing so we have created a complex social, contextual, participatory affiliation that to my mind is akin to a broad-based feminist cooperative (even though we aren't necessarily all women nor all feminists) (part 1);
3) we have put to lie a lot of the fear-mongering about women being alienated by computer technology (part 2);
4) we have "published" a vast array of detailed information about what the domestic realm looked like (for a particular swath of the population) in the early 21st C and in doing so have greatly enhanced a previously spotty historical record (part 2);
5) we have created a new "hyper-real" form of relationship that is neither sisterhood nor friendship but that engages our emotions, ideas, and sentiments and that dares to give a public face to societally silenced life events such as depression, miscarriage, and grief (part 3); AND
6) we have helped shape a communications medium that, freed from the entrenched system of print publishing, is opening up a space for a broad range of voices. The parenting blogosphere not only allows counter-culture discourse but enables new ways of writing, communicating and thinking (part 4).
Sure I have pointed out some drawbacks along the way but the gist of my argument in parts 1-4 fits the above summary.
Of all the drawbacks I pointed out in this series, the one that sits most uncomfortably at the front of my mind is this: we are misunderstood by the greater population because no one but us reads what we have to say (not that we speak with a single voice by any stretch of the imagination--therein lies our beauty) and that this is the case because the subject matter of which we speak (motherhood, children, the domestic) is still, persistently, undervalued by society.
I'd like to change that.
I'd also like to continue putting my daughter to sleep, pouring a beer and leisurely plunking out the odd blog post.
I don't think it's likely I can do both and the reality is that I am in a position where I can only do the latter. (Plus read. Oh the reading. In fact I added 4 more feeds to Bloglines just this weekend. Will it ever end?) But let's pretend for a moment that I/we could take concrete action to change how motherhood and the life-writing of parents are perceived in our culture. What would need to happen?
I've thought of a few things but then I plan to turn the floor over to you all. If there is one thing this series has taught me is that there is more wisdom in the combined comment sections than any silly ole post of mine contains. Seriously. If you haven't read the comments you really have only seen the tip of the meta-bloggy iceberg.
Let's assume, shall we, that I am Queen of the Universe. Not Goddess of the Universe but Queen. (i.e. I can't simply make everything perfect, ka-boom, with omnipotent powers but rather I can work from the top to subtly change systems for the better.) As Queen of the Universe I would address the following:
Who can speak for us?
Right now, we are doing a whole lot of writing and yet whenever a public face is put on us, the story is always spun out of recognition. I don't know how to change that entirely but here are some steps. I call it the:
"We speak for ourselves" model
Academia: I would like to see a series of women's studies and cultural studies texts published that are nothing more than edited anthologies of blog posts. The series would be called "Mommy bloggers on Mommy blogging" (or substitute the word "parenting" for "mommy") and would have chapters devoted to the kinds of topics that seem to pre-occupy us: parenting strategies; the psychological effects of sleep deprivation; depression; defining life events; navigating the system with a special needs child; memoir and life-writing; social justice; humour; theories on blogging; the experience of daddy bloggers; random theories (to use Bub and Pie's tag) and the like...
I've wrestled with this notion for some time trying to decide if it would be a good idea. After all, why do we need an anthology when the anthology already exists here, online? Print anthologies always carry the stigma of their selectivity. Who gets included? Who doesn't? Why? I've always felt that anthologies are an imperfect scholarly tool. And yet, I am an academic librarian. If a cultural studies or women's studies student came to the reference desk seeking to write a paper on the phenomenon of the mommy blogger, I could suggest that she/he look at the Internet but I couldn't really recommend it from a scholarly standpoint. The truth is, if what we say is going to be taken seriously in an academic context, then we will need to be represented in the conventional modes that scholarly research relies upon. An anthology or two could go a long way to opening up our writing to an academic audience. And I far prefer the anthology model to a model where we are analysed, critiqued and spat out by academics who don't really see what it is that we do. (Except for you and you and you, O insightful cultural studies and new media academics in our midst.)
Newspapers and magazines: Right now, the popular press seems to be stuck on the talking point that parenting bloggers represent a new style of hip parenting. Gag. Do I want newspapers to change their story and finally get it right? Yes and no. You see, I am getting kind of sick to my stomach of the stance that print journalism takes to parenting period. I don't want them reporting on the parenting blogging trend at all.
When I am Queen, a goodly number of the bloggers I know will be hired by their local and national papers to write meaningful columns about parenting. They will be paid well to do so. Top down editorial decisions will be made. The "Business" and "Style" sections in all newspapers will either be dispensed with entirely or will be reduced to infrequent "hot button" columns that will leave business tycoons and fashionistas turning to the Internet to clarify their position, to hook up, and to try to find a place for meaningful discourse. Can you see the likes of Conrad Black defending their right to have a martini lunch? "Waaaa, you think I can't manage the first-world economies while tiddling just a wee bit?" Or, the likes of Kate Moss defending their right to have lunch, period? "I can always go professional in Spain, you know. Just let me have a tiny bit of mashed potatoes with my carrot stick. Puh-lease!"
Yes, under Queen Mad Hatter, all ye bloggers will have a voice according to legitimate channels of communication. I will open my morning paper and will learn about treatment options for children with autism; I will read meaningful reflections on the state of child care (oh but if I am Queen there will also be universal child care and significant tax benefits for stay-at-home parents); I will smile broadly at humour columns that really understand what makes life funny (NOT fat women, stupid people or reductivist gender stereotypes); and I will hear a diversity of voices speaking to the multiplicity that is modern parenthood. Ya, I know, call it a pipe dream. It's not as if anyone wants to read meaningful accounts of family life, right? There aren't that many parents out there. Are there?
Oh and while I am busy reforming print journalism, I will have all "Entertainment" sections revert back to their former title, "Arts". Press releases from Hollywood will be banned outright.
Parenting magazines will work in tandem with internet modes of communication. No one form of discourse will be privileged over another. While a goodly number of parents will earn fair wage for their writing (rather than a select few), there will always be channels open so that all can speak and communicate with each other. While I wouldn't get all "Victoria meets Kipling" and try to "bear the white man's burden" of preaching the bloggy gospel to the excluded masses, I would hope to break down systemic barriers to free speech and technological access. Doing so would foster greater equity in these parts. Mine would be one of those Enlightened Despotisms that I read about in high school history classes.
The Internet: Right now, the parenting blogosphere is big. It's messy. It's unwieldy. I've often thought that it's no wonder we are misrepresented in the larger world because, frankly, you have to be a blogger to really get it--to get the significance of what we are doing here. That shouldn't be the case and I, Queen Mad Hatter, would take steps to rectify this situation. I believe strongly that every Monarch should have an inherent understanding of the importance of meta-data. Royal blood? Pshaw! Show me a gal with the ability to build a semantic web and I will crown her in a heart beat. OK, before my geeky librarian-ness loses as goodly number of you, allow me to explain.
Whenever I pop into my site meter to check the referrals that bring people to my writing I notice something quite disturbing. Something more disturbing than the # of searches for "hairy v*lva." I notice that the number 1 serious search that brings people here is "milk let down" or some other search expression that speaks volumes to the pain and despair of the searcher. I have often said that if I could save one woman even one of the tears I shed over breastfeeding then the absolute hell that I went through would be worth it. I don't know if the women who find my post find help. I hope they find solace. What I hope most of all, though, is that they find more relevant search results than Google is likely giving them. I know how much Google search hits lack relevance in this instance because I was that desperate, searching mom just two short years ago.
When I am Queen, the parenting blogosphere will function as a recognized reference tool and it will be used by health care professionals, those in the service of caring for parents and children, and by the general population itself. Health care professionals will see the parenting blogosphere as a complex (sometimes hideously unreliable) clinical trial. The research subjects in this clinical trial will be real parents giving accounts of their real life experiences raising children. The data will sometimes be contradictory or sketchy but users of the Parenting Blogosphere Reference Tool will rest easy knowing that no drug company funded the research or helped determine its results.
My friend blog-mate, Sage, will be made Minister in Charge of Bringing the Health Care System Together with Parents in a Way that is Mutually Rewarding. She will carry out her duties with wit and grace. As always.
Mo-Wo and Ginga Joy will head up the Ministry for all Things Meta-Data. They will analyse all these imprecise tags and labels that we invent and create a computer system that makes a meaningful semantic map out of potential synonyms. They will build on the work of Michelle at Scribbit to create a unified search interface to the parenting blogosphere (and I will take some sort of action to make sure my blog is included in it b/c it isn't yet). When their research is complete, any user will come to the Parenting Blogosphere Research Tool, type the expression that has meaning to her (e.g. "breast-feeding-fueled depression") and voila, a series of insightful, relevant posts will be put on this user's screen. The search results may not change the way she nurses her child but they may, just may, save her soul. They may provoke tears of joy and recognition rather than tears of grief and isolation.
And I, Queen Mad Hatter, will sleep well knowing that my kingdom is not perfect but that it is getting there. Step by little step.
Sadly, I will awake on the morn to discover that Blogger, WordPress, and Google have decided to license their products for use thus effectually dismantling my Utopia. I will kick myself for not funding libraries and other public institutions better such that the technology that we rely upon is not left to the whims of the private sector. I will shake my head at my own smugness in assuming that we have taken control of the technology when, in fact, we have only deftly adapted its applications.
________________
So ends the blah, blah blabiest series I have ever undertaken. Many thanks to those who stuck it out and who helped expand my thinking on so many issues. I love you guys.
I started the series on the eve of my blogiversary hoping to be granted a "license to blog" by answering the following question: "On International Women's Day, how would you theorize blogging as related to feminism and motherhood? "
You tell me. Did I answer the question? Am I a fully licensed blogger now?
What do you think would need to happen to change the way motherhood and the parenting blogosphere is perceived in our society?
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
Mad's Big Bloggy Think-fest: finale ... FINALLY
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39 hats in the ring:
Well, obviously if MoWo and Scribbit are to be my work colleagues in this new metadata harvesting initiative, I need to add *them* to my bloglines (also feeling overwhelmed on *that* score).
Mad--you are an inspiration. This last few weeks you have managed to articulate ideas about what's going on here in deeply astute ways. I have learned, I have thought, I have refined my own ideas. And isn't what this is all about? We've all come together and started to work towards all that you describe here--because some of it is actually happening.
(although I need my Hollywood releases. Sorry! Am whore that way)
What do I think needs to change? Everything you describe here--and I had not even thought about the metadata issue. How awful is that for me to admit? (call myself a metadata expert. a user-generated metadata expert to boot, tsk). I am seriously going to go and check scribbit now and see what's going on.
It makes me realize how much better I need to tag my posts--and even go back and retag. (and, uhm--blah blah blog. you call that a tag???? heh.) So what would our controlled vocabulary look like? And how do we create one and still allow ourselves to self-describe uniquely? Blogging folksonomies. (like "blah blah blog")
What else?
Promote access (metadata baby). And do it ourselves. Theorize blogging and blog content in smart ways. Spread the word in accessible ways. (and blogging has taught me more about auduence and accessibility more than a decade of academic prose writing ever could).
Blog.
can i vote for you as Queen?
i'm in on getting the regular media to shut up about parenting, as they've been sounding pretty addled lately. the whole "hip parent" discussion on CBC last week nearly made me tear hairs from my eyebrows...um? it's generational? we're not magically turning into styleless 80s clones just because we're now parents - we're styleless 2000s models! and our old clothes ARE rock n roll shirts, in many cases. but style - or my lack thereof - is an aside. finding a way to have the voices here in the mommyblogosphere actually populate the mainstream media would be refreshing...and if those voices were positioned as normal participants in mainstream media discourse, mainstream readerships could be convinced that the topics we discuss actually warrant serious discussion. after all, seriously, what's more accessible than poop and learning and playing and eating? we all do it.
as for the academia end, i think BabyDaisy would make a great dissertation topic if you ever decide to finish that Ph.D.
it's your last point, however, that concerns me...it's the one i'd like to see go out in your Queenly bulletins. even in all the meta-conversation that's gone on over the last few weeks, i've seen very little about the skeletal structures holding up the house of cards that is the blogosphere in general. whether one chooses to use proprietary or open source software, at this point blogging is free-ish (provided you pay for internet access from your home, and a computer, or you use these at a public portal of some sort). but not only is software licensing a possibility, there are efforts afoot out there to privatize - or start charging for use of - the actual fibre optic cables on which the whole damn internet runs. and some of the politicos with access to power in terms of making these types of decisions are not only corporate schlunkies on the best of days but are prone to making statements like "the internet is a series of tubes." so, yes, our Utopia is fragile, and we do not have control of the technology, not really.
but when you are Queen, you'll give it to us, right?
I believe your gold plated license just arrived nailed to a cooler of ice cold beer.
Mad, I waffle. Parts of me feel we are doing what women have done for centuries - gathering around the fire to teach, to commisserate, to support. But then I think - well, a fat lot of good that's done us - so if we elevate it into a position of being heard more broadly, what could that accomplish? or would it be our downfall, could we really hold tight against the corporatocracy?
Jen: I think the corps are going to get us either way. I know that I can't really do anything that this post suggests doing but I don't like the idea of waiting out the corps so that I can return to the suburbs either.
true, that.
I think part of it would require changing the way the blogosphere in general is perceived. People who don't blog think blogging = journalism. Or they think bloggers are just a bunch of teenagers going on and on and on and on about themselves.
So to start, I'd like to see the mainstream media accurately characterize the blogosphere as a whole. Then I'd like to see parenting magazines do "this week in parenting blogs." And I'd like them to take a topic bandied about in the blogs and make a full-blown article out of it, quoting blogs and referencing specific bloggers. And I'd like every single one of those articles to be accompanied by "how to blog" and "pitfalls and risks of parent blogging."
The dilemma is, I don't see how one can appear in the mainstream media & maintain one's anonymity. How many of us would be willing to be quoted in the local paper as a parenting blogger, w/ URL attached? Not me, thanks very much.
Jen,
Great idea about integratig parenting mags with the 'sphere.
And you're right, I hadn't really factored in the anonymity factor.
I was just commenting on my own blog...
Today in class we discussed the idea of tangible versus intangible compensation, and both as a feminist issue (and NO, I didn't steer it in this direction...I didn't teach today).
To answer your last two questions in your final paragraph:
Both questions revolve around a single point: this IS a feminist issue.
The change the way motherhood and mommy blogging is percevied (by which I assume you mean valued) we have to begin valuing both. And a LOT has to change for that to happen.
For one, we have to stop saying, "Could I vote for Hilary," and mean could I vote for a WOMAN and instead mean can I vote for someone with this experience and beliefs?
For another, Ginga hit on this a little in your comments and Mary hit on it in mine: we need to DEFINE OUR TERMS.
And most importantly, we ourselves need to reject the common system of hierarchy and tangible benefits as the only source of value.
Good stuff, Mad. No -- great stuff.
Do we really need to convert our work into print for it to be taken seriously by academics, though? Academics who more than ever are using the Internet for finding sources?
I'm not so sure, but I do agree that SOMETHING must be done to counter the ridiculous and sadly popular notion that bloggers are no more than self-absorbed ninnies.
Perhaps the solution is not in academizing (word choice?!) blogging but collecting it in the maintstream press. The anthology idea is a good one, I think, esp. if it were presented as literature. The "Best of" series has done really well -- Best of American Essays, 2006, for example. What of a "Best of Blogging on Parenting, 2007"?
SM: Academia moves at a pretty slow pace. I think researchers who have established careers could rely on us as "equal" voices when citing but others, including students, could never cite us as authorities on an issue. We would only ever be case studies--looked at rather than consulted.
A popular anthology sounds intriguing but I would hate to be the editor who decided what constituted a "Best of the Blogoshphere." Yikes. As least with an academic anthology, the selections could be made according to subject divisions, know what I mean? Either way, the process of editorial selection is not ideal.
I don't think we have to prepare a face for academia at all. It's just that I know that so many in our ranks are academics (many who have stepped outside their careers to have kids.) I would like to have those voices valued according to the institutional models that produced them.
Mad:
(raising hand sheepishly) me. academic. left academia to raise kids. actually never even had the chance to leave it. never entered it. but what i'm doing now on my blog would horrify my graduate institution. it'd want nothing more to do with me.
and that, friend, is the crux of the problem, is it not?
SM:
yup. Unless we can open the doors through cultural studies and women's studies. If there can be an online journal of Buffy Studies, there can be a scholarly anthology of mommy blogs.
The "Business" and "Style" sections in all newspapers will either be dispensed with entirely or will be reduced to infrequent "hot button" columns that will leave business tycoons and fashionistas turning to the Internet to clarify their position, to hook up, and to try to find a place for meaningful discourse.
MWAAAA hahahaha! Your mouth to God's ear!
Not sure I have much more to contribute to this series but I do want to thank you so much for writing it! It's led me to think, to evaluate, to think of some things differently.
Peace,
~Chani
Mad, as you know I get paid good money to write academic scholarship about blogs. In my Big Book Chapter In Major Reference Work I put in a clear heads-up, flagging for everyone's attention the fact that 5% of the blogosphere (j-blogs and political blogs, 95% authored by men) get 95% of the critical attention, while the mass mass mass of largely feminized and deprecated life writing genre of blgo is only occasionally addressed ... by life-writing scholars. I've pointed out the hole from as high a soapbox as I have managed to climb up on (as GingaJoy! She read it!)
Still. I don't think print anthologizing is the way to go: you, dear Mad, have worked in Materialist Feminist History, non? The medium is part of the message. Besides, those books don't sell well. Just ask Jessica Cutler: and if sleeping your way through Washington can't sell a book, I don't know what ca. The media are different: I know I write totally different for each medium, everything from tone to spelling to proofing to length to sentence structure.
And. I do like that we are a community of insiders. As I've written about a bit on my blog, what I like is that we are all implicated in circuits of reading and writing, of largely finding each other through crosslinks. It builds a very particular kind of audience, a very different one than you'd get, say, if your blog was linked from the Globe and Mail style section.
What I do is this: when I chitchat with new moms at Starbucks or wherever I happen to meet them, and we share a bit of info, I always just say, "Oh geez, I learned that from mommy blogs. Do you read blogs? You totally should, it's the best mom group you never had.' I name a couple, never mine, never out myself, and leave it be.
I believe they call that 'viral marketing' and it's all the rage now ;-)
BTW, I get those Google searches too, and they break my heart. They are me, and I want to hug them, to help them.
So. Metadata for terrified moms, good; metadata that rips open our reciprocal reading/writing balance, not so good. I'm just sayin ...
As for the materiality of the blog format: it's all based on CSS, non? The hosting is the main problem. And the template. But HTML is still open-source, baby!
This has been a wonderful series, Mad. I've opened, in your honour, that beer you put a lemon in, and giving it all a think.
(I am cursing you just a teeny bit for getting me all eager to put my work hat on in the beer hours. But what a conversation!)
Oh. And I've just joined to board of the women's studies program at my uni, so I'll do what I can over there :-)
Julie: tangible vs intangible compensation. I might characterize this as "captital vs cultural capital." Ok, actually a guy named Bourdieu came up with the expression "cultural capital" but I like it a lot and therefore fling the idea around willy-nilly. I find that the big benefit of the blogosphere for me is that it gives me "cultural capital". The flip side of this is that I hate it when my notion of cultural capital is denigrated by other communications systems such as the mass media.
Mimi: yes, the medium is part of the message but when the medium is continually denigrated it makes a gal want to broadcast the message in as many different channels as possible. Having said that, you are right that the very nature of the cross-pollination of discussion would get lost in the
anthologization process.
Yes, too, about the technology except that the hosting, templates, and general services offered by Blogger and the like are what make blogging access easy. Remove that service component and you will have far fewer lay users like myself.
I think, until women are regarded as complete beings, with children or without, only then will motherhood begin to get the respect it deserves
licensed?
graduate! summa magna cum laude I would figure.
Yes, graduated summa cum laude. Not that I'm the one to judge.
And thanks for showing me that I already was included in scribbits search thingie. (Through blogher and crazy hip mamas).
I don't know how it is where you live but here there are only now stories about bloggers emerging. There are the same 3 or 4 bloggers interviewed, one of them female.
In Germany there is no such thing as a mommyblogger scene. (Which remind me to put a "Bloggende Mamas"-button up on my blog again.)
Sorry to be rambling. I loved your series very much. I'm all for the meta...
I don't think this is a community of insiders, actually. Or--I think the "community" is made up of insiders, if you think of the frequent commenters as a particular blog's community; but there are usually about ten lurkers for every frequent commenter (the number varies from blog to blog), so you can bet that there are a lot of people reading who never post, and who aren't part of the community.
It's a bit like measuring a newspaper's readership by counting letters to the editor, I think.
So, I don't know. Yeah, the mainstream media is dismissive; but I don't think that hte only people who 'get it' are other bloggers, either.
I agree that the parenting blogosphere is undervalued by society b/c the subject matter is undervalued--but I think trying to value the writing on its own is putitng the cart before the horse. I mean, I could publish dozens of anthologies about the wiccan blogosphere with brilliant and insightful writings about wicca and neopaganism and religious discrimination and so on; but for as long as most people haven't heard of wicca, or think it's a fake religion, who is going to buy and read it? Or if they do, they'll do so because they want to be like that girl in The Craft who changed her hair colour by waving a hand over her head. Or I could put out an anthology of blogosphere writing about global warming, and it's not until a failed presidential candidate puts out a documentary on the subject and we get a few warm summers that anyone will read it.
I guess I could have just said that I don't think you can make people take writing about motherhood seriously until they take motherhood seriously, and left it at that. Brevity. It's my downfall.
I felt totally bittersweet reading your title yesterday. I have loved loved loved this series. Thanks for going to the effort!
Some of the google searches that come my way are about being pregnant, losing symptoms or not seeing a heartbeat on an ultrasound. I feel sad for these anonymous people, and wonder what the outcome is for them.
Lately, though, I've been getting a TON of "songs for the heartbroken". I think there's a lot of heartbroken people out there.
Anyways, not contributing to the meat of your post, I know, but felt the need to comment...
Great ending to the series Mad. No time to get all thinky...Papoosie Girl is home today...
Love the posts though and I agree the comments have been unbelievable. I do think that until what we do in day to day life gets taken seriously what we write about day to day life won't be taken seriously.
Rest a bit. You'll come up with another series. It's part of your formula. And we all love them so much. Even you, I think.
I'm in awe. I have conflicting thoughts and feelings. I believe in what you are suggesting, but I also am not sure it matters that much. I quickly advise this opinion is because I am short-sighted and not intellectual. You know, like the rest of the masses under your beneficent rule. (I'm not being facetious; enlightened despotism is my idea of the perfect political model.)
I'm not a "big picture" thinker, and in my life, the first thing that has to go is the blogging. I blog in the daytime, so blogging takes the place of other things: housework, interacting with my kids, exercise maybe?
Do I enjoy blogging? Hell, yes. I wish I could devote more time to it, without distractions. I would love to do more with it, but I can't so I've got to keep expectations at a minimum. Am I looking for a job in the next couple of years? Yes! Have I a clue what I'm going to do with my working life? No more than I did when I was a teenager. Would I take blogging seriously as a job, even though it could be fulfilling? I don't think so.
Then again, it would sure beat what I'm looking at right now: spilled yogurt, baby escaping high chair, dust, laundry, clock stating time much later than I thought. And this doesn't pay either.
I love you. I'm printing this out and taking it to Kentucky (AND to BlogHer.)
ARM at York is doing an anthology on mommyblogging, more or less academicky, but not entirely. And, of course, Joy and I and our henchwomen fully intend to get stuff published on this (so between us and Mimi and Bobita, we're making inroads.) And I've had conversations with well-placed people about less academicky mommyblog anthologies. And, and... the new MommyBlogsToronto site is going to be entirely anthology - blogzine anthology - and it's looking HOT. So there's momentum there. Real momentum.
Thanks so much for giving voice to these bloggy dreams, the better to make them reality.
Andrea:
I don't think I am suggesting that we should value the writing that goes on here on its own. I think I am saying that it would likely help the popular perception of motherhood if the writing we did and the thoughts we think had more exposure through mainstream publishing channels. Frankly, I don't know how else we might work toward increasing the value of motherhood in society. I remain angry each time I open the Globe and Mail (or as Judy Rebbick always called it "The Globe and Male") and discover parenting treated like a luxurious fashion statement for the rich. Why can't we hear stories from parents with kids on years long waiting lists for day care or speech therapy? Why can't that be the weekly column? Why must those discussions only ever take place here.
As for the notion of the parenting blogosphere as a closed community, I do think it more closed than you suggest. I look at my site meter and there are very few hits that aren't regular readers, bloggers redirected from links at other blogs, and bizarre Google hits that have nothing to do with the meat of what I've written. Whenever I seem to get a reader who is a non-blogger looking for information, my heart sinks b/c I think there must be a better tool to open up this space to such readers.
Having said all that, there isn't a damn thing that I am in a position to do about it. I blog from 10-11:30 at night and sneak out the odd comment when I am work during the day. You can't build a semantic web with that kind of commitment.
That might be part of our different take right there--most of my sitemeter hits are "unknown"--people who have bookmarked the site--or referrals from bloglines or google reader. Very few are hits from other blogs. And there's a fair number of email hits, too.
Also, I'd say at least 10% and probably closer to 30% of the blogs that link to mine are by non-parents. So I don't feel particularly closed off, either within parentosphere circles or bloggy circles, in my little niche.
Minister in Charge of Bringing the Health Care System Together with Parents in a Way that is Mutually Rewarding
Woo hoo! You read my mind! Or at least, my e-mail... :)
I have more to say, but I'll have to revisit so I can read all the comments and know what has and hasn't been put on the table.
Excellent post.
Mmmm...dill pickle. A woman after my own heart.
And the reading? No, it never ends. I don't even want to tell you how many feeds I have in Bloglines.
I have enjoyed this series so much -- the different perspectives you've offered us, your thoughts on things that I know I wouldn't have given more than oh...two seconds on, your points of view. Thank you for doing this, for thinking about this, and all of the other things you've thought about. And damn, girl, you can write. If I tried to approach this it would come out like letter vomit.
I apologize for not elaborating on this further, the way some of the other, more apt commenters have already (and yes, god, I've sat here for each of your Thinky posts and have pored through the comments...excellent discussion you've generated, Mad). I'm exhausted, just wiped out, and I saved this post for when I'd have a few minutes to myself, and of course, as soon as I got into it Oliver started SCREAMING from his crib and really hasn't stopped. I can't ignore him for much longer. Your last question, though? I think that in order for the parenting blogosphere to be recognized as something serious is for it to keep on keepin' on the way it has been. I think it's to prove that it's not a fad. We've got to prove that it's not a fad. You know?
Okay, god, I have to go now. *sigh*
Your crown and sceptre are on the way. Use them wisely, oh Queen.
Wow, I love reading the comments on your blog, but when I'm done I feel like I have nothing intelligent to add aside from a "yeah, what they said!" That being said, what drives me crazy about mainstream media's portrayal of parenting is the focus on divisive issues. They're out to get a reaction with headlines like "Daycare Linked to Behavioral Problems" and "Breastfeeding Linked to Higher IQ." Some mainstream media outlets do have blogs devoted to parenting or mom issues (the Washington Posts's On Balance and On Parenting blogs come to mind). But even those blogs tend to focus on the sensational and the divisive and you end up with 200 commenters bitching at each other about who's a bad parent. ARGH!
I've kind of lost my train of thought here.
So, anywho, how to change perceptions of Moms and Mommy blogging? I'm not sure. How do we change society? How do we change what society values? It's a gradual thing and I think we're already starting to do it. For instance, I actually work for a firm that values me even though the Mommy side of things sometimes interferes with the Lawyer side of things. Yeah, I wish it would happen faster, but it's only going to happen if we demand that it happen. OK, I've rambled on enough already so I'll stop!
Sage: Yes, well, I'm reluctant to make anyone a minister of anything if they haven't already indicated a desire to do so already.
Ah! I see why you commented on the wipes thing at my place - after a few minutes though, I remembered that I'd written something about wipes at Bub's, and went to check - and then noticed that you'd mentioned wipe warmers in your comment. So that did seem a bit pointed of me, but it wasn't meant sarcastically. Sorry.
Mad, I admire you like crazy for the work you have undertaken here. Impressive. Important. I still need some time to process it all.
I wish we could all get together for some coffee (or beer or hard liquor) and talk about this stuff.
I must admit that prior to the original posts by Joy and Her Bad Mother about this topic, I didn't give ANY thought to my blogging and how it related to society, parenting, feminism or much of anything except for my desire to write and make new friends.
All the posts on this topic that I've read have given me much food for thought.
It would be a great day, the one when you took your throne.
I'm chewing away at your point about labels -- I'm struggling with how to use them effectively and dying to copy some of the good ones I see, but am not sure that is correct behaviour. I've been trying to do some correlation of my own but I keep getting sidetracked by wonderful posts that I just have to comment about.
Thank you a lot! I blush to admit I have printed your five posts so that I can reread them (yeah, I'm old!)
Gah, I spent 10 minutes writing a long, long comment and my computer ate it. I had some real thoughts too! So bummed.
I'll try to make it back, but for now I'll give you a hearty AMEN, sistah!
I wish I could magically return the train of thought that I had when I left my first comment, before it was eaten by Blogger or my computer or whatever. But sadly, I can't -- but I will try to recapture some of it.
This series was great, Mad. I enjoyed reading the discourse that took place between your posts and the comments -- I took about a half hour to reread the parts I'd previously looked at, and read parts 4 and 5 (with comments) for the first time together.
Your discussion about writer vs. blogger was intriguing. Although I, like other commenters, would argue that you are absolutely a writer, I understand the distinction you were trying to make. And it's fascinating to me that the blogsphere has changed the way traditional print authors interact with their audience: I read blogs by several authors/writers now, and the blog has provided many of them with exposure they never had before (and with broader audiences, as you illustrated in comparing your husband's reach in his work to your own with the blog). Fascinating stuff.
I was also intrigued by the hypothetical scenarios you described related to the growing intersection of blogging and revenue. I am interested to see how traditional merchants will utilize the informal recommendations that bloggers use to demonstrate support of products. Potentially a huge business, even more so than ad revenue from blogs, in my opinion.
One thing I'd be interested in your comments about is how the anonymity of blogging could hurt the medium. Of course I'm an advocate of some anonymity -- I don't advertise my physical location, last name, place of employment, or kids' names on my blog, and I don't allow search engines to index it. But what I'm talking about is people who completely develop an online persona for the purpose of harming others (or doing that even if it wasn't their original purpose). I do believe, I want to believe, that blogging will continue to be an important medium for fostering community, but I am concerned that incidents like the recent death threats toward blogger Kathy Sierra will keep people from sharing their personal information in any capacity. I know for me that if someone started threatening me or saying inappropriate things about my kids -- I'd stop the blog in a heartbeat.
Do you have any thoughts on this? Do you think the blogging community will develop some sort of formal or informal code of conduct to ostracize these hateful types of people?
Nancy,
I, too, wish your comment hadn't been lost. Blasted Blogger. Still and all this particular comment is a doozy.
As for the anonymity question, it is a vexing one. Some bloggers will always have access to more anonymity than others. I try to remain anonymous for a whole bunch of reasons but my efforts to do so will always be less successful than those of people who live in bigger places. My city, no doubt, shows up in site meter stats and b/c my city is small and b/c I have a unique career in this city, it would be all but impossible to protect my privacy if someone were truly interested in violating it. A blogger in a large urban centre would experience a greater sense of anonymity here.
As for the rest of this issue, I know it seems unfair but I'd like to direct you to a series of posts on the issue of privacy and cyber-bullying. Julie at the Ravin' Picture Maven posted just this week on the topic of cyber-bullying (http://theartfulflower.blogspot.com/2007/03/sticks-and-stones-may-break-bones-but.html)
And then back in Feb, Andrea at A Garden of Nna Mmoy posted a few posts on privacy. I didn't always agree with what she had to say and we have many a discussion in the comments. Her posts are brilliant, though, and have shaped my thinking enormously. You'll find the first one here:http://www.athenadreaming.org/Beanie/archives/2007/02/privacy_postmor.html The other two are in her Feb archives.
Sorry to do no more than refer you elsewhere but these posts really do address these issues more fully than I could ever pretend to.
Thanks for the links. I will definitely check them out!
Yeah, the surviving comment (which I was able to somewhat resurrect in my mind) was still a doozy, but you should have seen the original...
(of course, nowhere near as articulate as these posts have been. Amazing!)
My dearest Queen. I kneel down on broken glass to read your words.
I actually edited a mommyblogging anthology that is coming out in August of next year. Let me know if you want more information - some contributors include Finslippy, Fussy, Amalah, Mom-101 and about twenty others. It's exactly as you say - divided into categories that speak to us as parents. I'm glad to hear others think it will be valuable.
Rita Arens
www.surrenderdorothyblog.com
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