Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Pride and Twitterverse

TheRealJaneAusten:
It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of good fortune must be in want of a wife.

MrsB:
A Mr Bingley--worth 50,000 followers a year--has joined Twitter! He's brought a friend, Mr Darcy--worth 100,000 followers a year! Pls RT

MrsB:
@JaneB @LizzyB @MaryBsaphorisms @KittyB @LydiaB I will have one of you girls married into internet fame yet. Just you wait.

LizzyB:
@MrsB But mother, I think we can pull ourselves up by our dooce-straps just fine.

MrsB:
Blogcasting: How to find husbands for your daughters: http://tinyurl/momblog Now with free giveaway from our Etsy embroidery shop. Pls RT

LizzieB:
@JaneB If I could love a man who would love me enough to take me for a mere 50 followers, I should be well pleased...

LizzieB:
@JaneB ...but such a man wouldn’t be sensible & I could never love a man who was out of his twits. LOL

JaneB:
Oh @LizzyB, it is my ardent wish to marry 4 love. Love, respect AND dual laptops would be most agreeable. #iamdullbutpretty

CubicleSurfer:
Does anyone know what #Bingley is and why it’s suddenly the no. 1 trending topic?

BoredInTheBurbs:
@CubicleSurfer I think #Bingley’s a he and I’m pretty sure he just died.

POPlovesPOP:
@CubicleSurfer @BoredInTheBurbs No, I’m pretty sure #Bingley’s the new Idol. That doesn’t explain why he’s the no. 1 trending topic, tho.

MaryBsAphorisims:
It behooves us all to resist the temptation of #Idol chatter

MaryBsAphorisims:
I can’t believe I lost 5 followers with that last Tweet. What’s WRONG with you people?

LydiaB:
@JaneB @LizzyB @MaryBsaphorisms @KittyB There's going to be a dance!!! Squeeee!!! I won't sit down all night.

JaneB:
@LizzyB @MaryBsaphorisms @KittyB @LydiaB Do any of you know what you're wearing to the dance? I was thinking virginal white.

LydiaB:
@JaneB @LizzyB @MaryBsaphorisms @KittyB What I wouldn't give for this: http://tiny.cc/S6s7h & a pair of Jimmy Choos. It’s positively #Bella.

KittyB:
@LydiaB No fair! You stole that URL from MY del.icio.us. #sisterfail

LydiaB:
@KittyB del.icio.us? Are you kidding me? How positively 2007. #epicsisterfail

MaryBsAphorisms:
@JaneB @LizzyB @KittyB @LydiaB I confess a dance has few charms for me—I should infinitely prefer a modest Christian blog.

[Email from Twitter to LydiaB: VampireShoeShop is now following you on Twitter. You may follow VampireShoeShop by clicking the Follow button on their profile.]

Bingley:
@Darcy I can hardly wait to dance with @JaneB. She is the most capital girl I have ever met. #loveat1stsight

Darcy:
@Bingley Any savage can dance. #proofofmysuperiority

Bingley:
@Darcy JaneB's sister, Lizzy is pretty. You could dance with her. It would be capital fun.

Darcy:
@Bingley She's tolerable, but she is not handsome enough to tempt me. Also: could you stop saying "capital" so much? #abovemypeers

LizzyB:
@CharlotteL RT @D*rcy "She is tolerable. But she is not handsome enough to tempt me." #twitteratiRtwats #takeyrtweetsprivatefool

LizzyB:
@JaneB @MrsB I may safely promise you never to dance with Mr. D*rcy.

MaryBsAphorisms:
I loves me a stately piano concerto. ♫ http://blip.fm/~6kg1t from Blip.fm

LydiaB:
Oh, @MaryBsAphorisms, you silly goose. No one wants to hear that stodgy old song. We long to dance. Blip us Grimstock.

MaryBsaphorisms:
If I must but I take no joy in it: ♫ http://blip.fm/~6khd6 from Blip.fm

JaneB:
@Bingley Demure grin

Bingley:
@JaneB Capital! Capital indeed!

MrsB:
My @JaneB was much admired at the dance. #Bingley danced with her twice. Post to follow. Pls RT.

Darcy:
Women? There are not ½ dozen who I would consider accomplished. #fb

LizzyB:
@Darcy Like duh. I’m surprised YOU know 6. #urstillavirgin

Darcy:
@LizzyB FYI, it has been the study of my life to avoid those weaknesses which often expose a strong understanding to ridicule.

LizzyB:
@Darcy Like, oh I dunno, pride perhaps? Vanity? Self-righteous tweeting?

Darcy:
@LizzyB Pride—where there is a real superiority of mind, pride will be always under good regulation.

LizzyB:
@Darcy Which one of your last 3 tweets would you like me to nominate for http://tweetingtoohard.com/ ? ‘Cause I think they’re all winners.

Darcy:
@LizzyB Clearly, there is in every disposition a tendency to some particular evil. Yes, I’m tweeting at you.

LizzyB:
@Darcy Yours is to hate everyone.

Darcy:
@LizzyB Where yours is to misunderstand them.

Darcy:
@Darcy Oooo. Having a little twit snit are we, Mr Darcy?

MaryBsAphorisms:
Pride is a very common failing. By all that I have ever read, I am convinced that it is very common indeed.

MaryBsAphorisms:
Ah but, vanity & pride are different things. Pride relates to our opinion of ourselves, vanity to what we would have others think of us.

MaryBsAphorisms:
What’s with all the dead air out here 2night? Is twitter down again or something?

Mrs B:
Hubs is in his study AGAIN. He has no consideration for my nerves. It vexes me terribly.

LydiaB:
Support our troops! #followfriday @cnlfoster @mrsfoster @regiment @denny @sanderson @wickham Squeee!!!

LizzyB:
@LydiaB Stop twirting. You will get a reputation as the most determined twirt that twitter has ever seen.

Darcy:
I have been meditating on the very great pleasure which a pair of fine eyes in the face of a pretty woman can bestow. #fb

Darcy:
[Find People on Twitter:
Who are you looking to find? LizzyB]

Darcy:
@biz Why must avatar pictures be so small? #twitterfail

CharlotteL:
@LizzyB Darcy keeps looking at your profile. What’s up with that?

LizzyB:
@CharlotteL I dunno but it’s freaking my shit out. Srsly.

[Email from Twitter to LizzyB: Wickham is now following you on Twitter. You may follow Wickham by clicking the Follow button on their profile.]

Wickham:
Oh woe is me!

Wickham:
How unlucky my lot in life has been!

Wickham:
I am so sick of my friends. If you can even call them that...

LizzyB:
@Wickham Ok, I’ll bite. What’s up?

Wickham:
@LizzyB If only I, honest son of an honest Linux programmer, had not been so grievously wronged by a certain proud, 2.0-savvy man.

LizzyB:
@Wickham RU talking about who I think UR talking about? Developed DRM for I-phone apps? Oprah & Ashton follow him? Follows only 5 tweeps?

Wickham:
@LizzyB The very same. He cheated me out of the open source living his father had promised me. Who could wrong one so noble as me? Oh noes!

LizzyB:
@Wickham Ugh. Further proof of why I hate the Twitterati. Except @theBloggess. She cracks my shit up AND she is a model of propriety.

Wickham:
@LizzyB You seem like a fair minded woman and I desperately need a twosse. Would you like to hear more of my grievances?

LizzyB:
@Wickham Bring ‘em on.

MaryBsAphorisms:
It behooves us all to take very careful thought before pronouncing an adverse judgment on any of our fellow men.

MaryBsAphorisms:
For once, your silence is golden. Thank you, tweeple.

MrCollins:
@MrsB @JaneB @LizzyB @MaryBsaphorisms @KittyB @LydiaB I have it on authority from Lady Oprah de Bourgh that marriage would behoove a man of m... (read more via Twitlonger)

MrsB:
@LizzyB @MaryBsaphorisms @KittyB @LydiaB One of u MUST marry yr cousin, MrCollins. The PC, both laptops & the wireless are entailed to him.

LizzyB, MaryBsaphorisms, KittyB, LydiaB:
@MrsB Ew. We’d rather live off-grid.

MrCollins:
@LizzyB Since accepting my friend request on Facebook, Lady Oprah de Bourgh has condescended to write on my wall as often as once a year in ... (read more via Twitlonger)

MrCollins:
@LizzyB My reasons for marrying are, 1st, that I think it a proper, nay logical, step in developing my ministwee, 2 that it would please my ... (read more via Twitlonger)

MrCollins:
@LizzyB Which brings me to my choice of you as the particular object of my heart’s desire. Your lowly station, situated as you are with 5 si ... (read more via Twitlonger)

LizzyB:
@MrCollins You flatter me greatly with this proposal, but allow me to say AS IF!

MrsB:
@LizzyB @MrCollins LIZZY! NO!!!!! However will I blog when your father is dead and in his grave?

[Friend or Follow: Enter your username: LizzieB
Lizzie B is following MrsB but MrsB no longer follows LizzyB]


MrsB:
Oh, I have such a headache. And no one in this house cares one bit for my suffering. Please let there be new comments on my last post.

[Email from Twitter to CharlotteL: MrCollins is now following you on Twitter. You may follow MrCollins by clicking the Follow button on their profile.]

MrCollins:
Lady Oprah de Bourgh has made it clear that I should make a prudent match as is most befitting a clergyman of my standing and circumstances ... (read more via Twitlonger)

CharlotteL:
@MrCollins I’m all ears. Let’s take it to email, for you are too great a man to be confined by 140 chars.

MrCollins:
@CharlotteL: Oh my dearest heart…



MrCollins:
I simply cannot wait to disclose to Lady Oprah de Bourgh knowledge of my recent matrimonial joy with Miss C Lucas who has graciously accepte ... (read more via Twitlonger)

LizzyB:
@CharlotteL: Engaged to Mr. Collins! My dear Charlotte—impossible!

CharlotteL:
@LizzyB I am not romantic. I never was. I ask only for a comfortable home.

CharlotteL:
@LizzyB you will tweet to me, won't you? I don't think I could bear going if you didn't tweet to me.

LizzyB:
@CharlotteL Of course. I’ll even visit you on Facebook but promise me I won’t have to read Mr Collins’ blog.

Darcy:
@Bingley: I think it’s time we both quit Twitter for a while and went back to blogging. These tweeple are beneath us.

Bingley:
@Darcy But, but... Oh if you insist. You are the most capital fellow I have ever met, after all. #Iamapatsy

Wickham:
I just joined a twibe: LittleLadyLovers

JaneB:
@LizzyB Bingley has left Twitter. I must summon the fortitude to overcome this.

LizzyB:
@JaneB I'm sure he loves you still. Why don’t you get a blogger account so you can keep in touch? Our aunt & uncle will let you guest post.

JaneB:
You may be right, @Lizzy. I will comment as demurely as I am able to.

Darcy:
DM to @LizzyB
In vain I have struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire & love you.

[series of DMs between LizzyB and Darcy]

LizzyB:
WTF?

LizzyB:
Can you deny that you made Bingley quit Twitter thus destroying my sister’s chance for happiness?

Darcy:
I cannot. I even deleted all her comments on his blog so he wouldn’t know she was reading. Marry me anyway?

LizzyB:
And don’t even get me started on your offenses to poor Wickham.

Darcy:
Wickham? Oh yes, poor downtrodden Wickham. #eyeroll

LizzyB:
Gah! You are so haughty!

Darcy:
And you are such a hotty.

LizzyB:
Ugh. You are the last man in the world whom I could ever be prevailed upon to marry. kaithksbye

[Msg to LizzyB from Twitter: Are you sure you want to block Darcy? BLOCK]

EMAIL FROM DARCY TO LIZZYB:
You have blocked me on Twitter which leaves me no other recourse than to email you an honest account of my dealings with Mr Wickham. In short, he is a pedi-perv who tried to bone my sister when she was but 15. He had hoped to marry her for her fortune, but I stopped him. So there.

[Msg fwd to JaneB from LizzyB]

LizzyB:
@JaneB Oh shit. Have I ever made a mistake. Darcy = good. Wickham = bad.

JaneB:
@Lizzy: Whaaa? Wickham’s a pedi-perv? Let’s not tell anyone, ‘kay?

LizzyB:
@JaneB: Pinky promise.

JaneB:
@LizzyB: Pinky promise.

LydiaB:
Mrs Foster has invited me to Brighton to flirt with the Red Coats. SQUEEEEE!!!!

LydiaB:
@Wickham I do hope I will c u there. DM me to let me know if you can cum.

LizzyB:
Am taking a social networking webinar paid for by my Aunt & Uncle. Hope to learn lots.

LizzyB:
@JaneB Get this! We have to review Darcy’s blog. He has the most beautiful template I’ve ever seen.

LizzyB:
@JaneB Holy crap! He just tracked my IP through site meter. AM MORTIFIED!!!

LizzyB:
@JaneB But for some strange reason, he friended me on FB instead of getting mad. Colour me confused.

LizzyB:
@JaneB And now both he AND his sister have left kind messages on my wall. He even liked my status. I am all wonder.

JaneB:
DM to @LizzyB
Lydia has eloped with Wickham. She is ruined. Log off the computer and come downstairs at once.

LizzyB:
[Unblock Darcy]
DM to @Darcy
My sister's run off with Wickham. She has 20 followers. He has no reason to marry her. We are ruined & it's all my fault for not outing him.

Darcy:
I will be offline for the foreseeable future. #fb

LizzyB:
@JaneB We ARE ruined. @Darcy has made it clear that he’d rather give up the Internet than share it with me. #sigh

MaryBsAphorisms:
Loss of virtue in a female is irretrievable. A woman's reputation is no less brittle than it is beautiful.

[Email from Twitter to MaryBsAphorisms: Sexxygrl232 is now following you on Twitter. You may follow Sexxygrl232 by clicking the Follow button on their profile.]

MaryBsAphorisms:
I just scored another follower. Yesss!!

LydiaB:
@MrsB You will laugh mother, when you know what I have done. I have married...Wickham!

Mrs B:
@LydiaB Married? You are indeed married? Oh my dear girl. Post to follow. Pls RT

LydiaB:
@LizzyB The wedding was small but lovely. If only Darcy hadn’t been there.

LizzyB:
@LydiaB Whaaaaaa?

LydiaB:
@LizzieB Oh crap. I wasn’t supposed to tell.

Darcy:
I’m back. Did anybody miss me? #fb

Bingley:
So happy to be back! Twitter is the most capital place I’ve ever known! Thanks for giving me the go-ahead to come back, @Darcy.

Bingley:
@JaneB Waves

JaneB:
@Bingley Demure grin

Bingley:
@JaneB Marry me?

JaneB:
@Bingley In a heartbeat. Most demure grin EVER.

Lady Oprah de Bourgh:
@LizzyB I heard a twumer that you plan to marry @Darcy. He is too popular a Tweep for you. You’ll bring us all down. I FORBID it.

LizzieB:
@Oprah Helloooo! Since when are tweeps celebrity sheep? ... Fine. Point taken, but screw you anyway. #herebeforeoprah

Darcy:
@LizzyB You got guts girl, pissing off @Oprah like that. I admire your spunk.

LizzieB:
@Darcy I must thank you for your kindness to my poor sister. Buying out that open source asshat of a husband must have cost you a fortune.

Darcy:
@LizzieB: I did it all for you. Please tell me you no longer think I’m a twit.

LizzieB:
@Darcy: Oh never a twit. I once thought you were a twat but all is forgotten.

Darcy:
@LizzyB My feelings and intentions have not changed. One tweet from you will silence me forever.

LizzieB:
@Darcy I heart you. Truly.

Darcy:
@LizzieB YAY! I’ll tweet your father to ask for your hand.

LizzieB:
@Darcy: Oh you’ll never find him on twitter. Being married to a social-networking mommy blogger keeps his nose in the books.

Darcy:

@LizzyB: Fine. I’ll take this off line. Care to join me?

LizzieB:
I am yours: virtually AND corporally.

TheRealJaneAusten:
'Night Tweeps.

___________________________________________________
Thanks to:
Jane Austen and Andrew Davies (screenwriter for the 1995 BBC miniseries)
@cribchronicles @maryLUE and @threeandholding: my consultants on all things twitty
Painted Maypole for laying down the challenge in the Monday Mission (2 days late, sorry)

134 comments:

slouching mom said...

OMFG.

LMAO!!!

Brilliant. Brilliant. Brilliant.

I cannot stop laughing!

"Oh never a twit. I once thought you were a twat but all is forgotten."

!!!

This is a freakin' MASTERPIECE.

Janet said...

Duuuuude.

I bow down before you. That was inspiring! AND you incorporated two of my fav. twitterisms: twit snit and twosse.

Loved it. Except that Wickam with his passive aggressive tweeting. Jackass.

Amanda said...

Wow!

painted maypole said...

amazing. and I don't even twitter (a twitter virgin, I know! You keep trying to lure me. Maybe @Darcy would have better luck)

KathyR said...

Love it. Thanks to slouchy for the twitter tip.

mayberry said...

You had me at "dooce-straps" ... and it just kept getting BETTER!

please, someone find someplace to anthologize this!

Bea said...

Aha, so you did use the screenplay - I was pretty sure Grimstock was from there and not from the novel.

My favourite line: Wickham: I just joined a twibe...

Magpie said...

This is divine. And awesome. And funny.

Allysha said...

Seriously, you are a wonder. Loved this!

Mary-LUE said...

#iamdullbutpretty - That was hysterical...

and MrsB...

and Bingley as a trending topic...

and VampireShoeShop is now following you on Twitter...

and MrCollins using Twitlonger!!!!

Really, it is a delight from start to finish.

Have you ever seen the Facebook version?

Mary-LUE said...

I forgot Oprah deBourgh! That was the BEST!

alejna said...

Oh, mad, you have outdone yourself. This was amazing. I laughed out loud. Seriously. (So much for pretending to do work.)

You rock my world.

flutter said...

You? Seriously? just made me pee a little

mo-wo said...

So many highpoints. OMG!!! Has the beacon seen this yet I ponder???

de said...

just...Wow. Amazed and impressed.

Beck said...

THIS WAS AMAZING. I am breathless!
I kept thinking that THIS was the best line, right here and then the very next line would be BRILLIANT.

WOW. Great work!

Hannah said...

Good lord, woman.

I think you've just made me retire from blogging. AND twitter.

Lala said...

we are not worthy, we are not worthy! Brilliant!

kate said...

What Beck said.

You have SO outdone yourself, which is not easily done!

Wow.

Karen said...

too, too good! reading it again!

maggie, dammit said...

MaggieDammit: @madjustmad Marry me?

CAQuincy said...

That. Was. AWESOME!

Bon said...

dood. i wish i were still teaching. this could replace Coles Notes.

Katie said...

HILARIOUS! I love love LOVED it!

slouching mom said...

Just came back to reread.

Yes, it's THAT good.

Kyla said...

God, this is PERFECTION. You are genius.

Well done!

Gwen said...

Brilliant? Genius? It's all been said.

You rocked this one, library lady.

JES said...

This really is the stuff of genius. Nicely done!

Vinegar Martini said...

WE'RE NOT WORTHY! WE'RE NOT WORTHY!

OMG - I bow to your creative genius!

Jennifer (ponderosa) said...

GENIUS! A MASTERPIECE!

My favorite part was MrCollins' ministwee Hahahahahaha

Reading this makes me love Lizzy even more and also? even more bewildered that she would consider Darcy worth marrying. He'll always be a twat to me.

Hairline Fracture said...

This is the best tribute to Jane Austen I've read, ever. Great job!

giddymomof6 said...

You are an absolute GENIUS! So perfectly WONDERFULLY HILARIOUS! Love it! love it! This is too good to pass up, you must pass the word! It's perfection itself! LOL!
LOVE LOVE LOVE It! Ok, off to share! Thanks for directing me here! Jenni

planetnomad said...

Brilliant!!

alejna said...

Mad, please stop distracting me from my work.

marymurtz said...

BRAVO!!!!!!!!

Oh, God, I'm still weeping from the laughter!

sweetsalty kate said...

Have you been into Bon's absinthe prior to our date? Oh hell. If it makes for more of this, put absinthe in your tea.

Pure genius, dear Mad. Saw this earlier today and am still smiling.

Trippy said...

Perfectly tweeted!

A lovely laugh, thanks!

Cold Spaghetti said...

*standing O*

Subspace Beacon said...

Brilliant. Demure grin.

MrCollins use of twitlonger was inspired!

No Mother Earth said...

You are WAAAY too smart for me. I'm going to have to get me plastic surgery to keep you interested.

Jozet at Halushki said...

Brilliant! LOL!!!!

well read hostess said...

Marry Me.

DaniGirl said...

Oh my good lord, if that isn't the cleverest, funniest, most simply amazing thing I've read in YEARS... you, my darling, make the Internet worthwhile!

Madame Meow said...

This was so incredibly awesome, I'm still in awe.

Capital!

Jenny, the Bloggess said...

I love you so much it hurts.

Mimi said...

Wow. Am agog.

Gwen said...

I found this from Magpie Musings...I am astounded. This is truly one of the best things I have ever read. I've always loved Pride & Prejudice and have read it a thousand times. This is better than the Bridget Jones interpretation. Just fabulous. I laughed out loud at the Mr. Collins "Read more on Twitlonger". Hysterical. Now, I would love to see you do Wuthering Heights. Or Emma. Yeah, do Emma.

seven said...

Oh. Em. Gee. You HAVE to do more of these.

Julie Pippert said...

I bow to you. *BOWING*

That was teh awesome.

I think you well and truly trumped the Shakespeare for Raccoons and Other Woodland Creatures.

Enjoyed it fully, totally, madly, deeply, and completely. now running off to LOL

Jaelithe said...

This is the best thing I have read all week. You made my night. For serious.

Adelas said...

/follow, /digg, /swoon

absolutely amzing.

May-B said...

Brilliant. I am in awe.

rychelle said...

this is GENIUS. srsly. ;)

Quadelle said...

This is sheer brilliance! Your brain? It's amazing.

Stomper Girl said...

Pea Soup sent me. That was - to quote Mister Bingley - capital!

Brother Bastardfish said...

Silly things do cease to be silly if they are done by sensible people in an impudent way.

b*babbler said...

I bow down, humbly, before your wit and wisdom.

This made my day!

Jha'Meia said...

This post is a MASTERPIECE! <33

alejna said...

Hey, it's me again. This post continues to crack me up to an alarming degree. I keep remembering this bit:
"In short, he is a pedi-perv who tried to bone my sister when she was but 15."

Also, I had a thought for a name for this genre: Mastertweets Theatre.

H. L. Dyer said...

WONDERFUL!!

*snort*

Southern Writer said...

Ministwee! Holy shit. Holy wit. You're amazing.

Kate Davies said...

Oh.
My.
Gawd.

Brilliant, absolutely brilliant. Made my night! Thanks!

Magpie said...

Like Alejna, I keep coming back. And I think she nailed it: Mastertweets Theater.

Jacqueline T Lynch said...

This was excessively diverting. Also "Mastertweets Theater".

Jeanie W said...

Wow, that is brilliant!

Sam said...

Wonderful :-)

Capital Mom said...

That was awesome. Bravo!

RevPhat said...

Glad to see you've gotten so many hits on this...well deserved. I've passed it on to all my english major friends. Hey, we gotta get our laffs where we can!!

Ginger said...

One of the funniest things I've read in ages! I see a great future for fan fiction here...

Danielle said...

Wow.... That is too amazing for words. SO brilliant!!! :D Thanks for posting!

kd said...

truly brilliant mad. you rock.

Charleybrown said...

I never thought I'd see the day that P&P was told in tweets! Very amusing!

Janet said...

Oh my, I don't have the words to express my appreciation! "Thank You" just isn't enough. I couldn't stop laughing. This is hilarious and brilliant.

Oh, The Joys said...

STANDING OVATION!!!

CLD said...

Captial! This is the funniest thing I've read in a long time. Great job!

Suse said...

Standing ovation indeed. Capital.

miller_schloss said...

I am all astonishment.

Janet said...

You are officially my #1 idol of all time.

By coincidence, I was just given a copy of "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies." The first line is, "It is a truth universally acknowledged that a zombie in possession of a brain must be in want of more brains." It's hysterically funny. Same exact story, but with a subplot of a plague of zombies and Mr. Bennett has trained his daughters in some rigorous Far Eastern zombie killing practices. Of course, you may be PandP'd out right now.

Sophie in the Moonlight said...

Here via Mim.

BRAVA!!!!!

P&P is one of my all-time favorites. That was capital, brilliant, and unbelievably clever! I'm simply astonished at your concept and the twitteracity with which you carried it out.

Really amazing!

beth - total mom haircut said...

Came over from Mayberry Mom and I have to say this is truly brilliant. I hope you get it published, because you could. I don't even Twitter and still found it hysterical, so I can only imagine.

Musings of a Housewife said...

Ohmylord, this is HYSTERICAL. Brilliant.

Sugar Jones said...

I am truly inspired by your wit... or twit? Hmmm...

And now I feel like I really understand Wickam.

Tattooing #sisterfail to my arm. thxkbai!

Dawn said...

This is FABULOUS! How long did it take?

ExtraordinaryMommy said...

Good heavens this is brilliant.

Top hats off to you....

I can only imagine how long that took - makes my head spin.

Melissa in Mel's World said...

Holy Moly...this is un-believe-able! It's truly a MASTERPIECE!

I laughed so much as I walked back through one of my all time favorites!

Thank you so much for your hard work, your humor, and for posting this.

Spectacular!
~Melissa in Mel's World

Alli Worthington {@alliworthington} said...

{clapping wildly}

BRAVO!

gretchen from lifenut said...

Jaw dropping.

I think you've topped everything ever done on the internet, and now we can all go home. Turning out the lights.

sari said...

I saw a link to this from my friend Beth's blog (Total Mom Haircut).

Truly priceless, I really loved it. I told her on her blog, I recently read Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (which I enjoyed) but Lizzie never gets to say WTF so this is exactly what is needed.

Have a great day.

Mom101 said...

Bowing deeply and with much gratitude in your direction.

Redneck Mommy said...

Hats off to you m'lady.

That had to be the BEST blog post I have read this year.

Please say you will do all of Austen's work.

Cuz you are hysterical, Mad.

Lady Crumpet said...

I LOVED this! Thank you for such a clever, witty treatment - it was only a matter of time before this came along!

Diana's said...

This is just absolute fun !
I so enjoyed reading this.

I never thought the two would, or even should mingle, but you did it and did it - and perfectly so !

Organically Yours,
Diana

Hat said...

Epic. Simple epic.

Marilyn Brant said...

Oh, absolute awesomeness. Thanks!

JenniferWriter said...

This is fantastic from start to finish. I'm in awe. High schools should use this when they study P&P! Thank you for sharing your genius, humor, and hard work!

Diana's said...

What a great idea JenniferWriter !
After the kids have studied the original and discussed it... - this would be a great way to help them grasp some of the meanings and feelings behind the wonderful words of Jane Austen and her era.

I love the language of those days gone by - so fluid, so lyrical and yes, sometimes hard to "get" the first time through her work.

Again, I cannot express how much fun this was.
Thank You !

SongBird3411 said...

OMG. This was hilarious! Thank you so much for this! Wonderful! I think I cried laughing. Perfect! I am sending all my friends the link.

lawyermama said...

Mad - You are brilliant! Brilliant, I say!

Oh how I've missed you. I promise to stop by more often.

JCK said...

Colour YOU, brilliant. Indeed. Hysterical post.

Gwen Hayes said...

That was awesome. I am RTing everyone I know.

Debbie Mumford said...

Am stunned by your genius. Wow!

Kate Pearce said...

Fabulous!
Thank you :)

Anonymous said...

Wow. Just wow. And I don't even twitter either. Amazing talent.

Gail T. said...

great stuff! i would have followed @LizzyB she's spot on. :D

Me too, I just RT.

Nell Dixon said...

Fab! Loved this.

Rhonda Stapleton said...

OMG this was absolutely BRILLIANT. I loved it!!

Li said...

Love love love. Brilliant!

Amanda said...

That was the most amazing thing ever.

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Prague Paul said...

LOL - great story. Made me and my wife laugh a lot. It is an unusual and fun story!

Paul Symonds said...

It' san impressive story. What a woman. It is amazing and I found very amusing.

nomadshan said...

Wow - awesome. Love the hashtags :)

isis said...

Oh, HEE. A great mix of the time period and modern sensibilities. As LizzyB would say, you crack my shit up.

Lyndsey said...

absolutely hilarious! I love times infinity!

Monica Fairview said...

Brilliant, Mad Hatter! Get it published!

pachuvachuva said...

This is absolutely amazing! and Monica Fairview is right. You should get this published. ;)

Lauren said...

Ah loved it! Very impressive! And hilarious!
:o)

Colleen Thompson said...

Loved it! Laughed my head off.

Krystean said...

Absolutely fantastic! Just loved it. I found the link to your blog on Twitter via janeaustenworld. So glad I poked my head in to read it! I'm going back to read it again!

hope101 said...

Brilliant! Thanks so much. I thoroughly enjoyed this.

bookmagic said...

I love this!! You are brilliant and genius.
Now what can you do with Northanger Abbey?

Katy said...

That was fabulous! :D

Emily said...

Hi Mad!

Just reliving, re-reading, re-loving, re-peeing my pants...

You could always just start a Twit-terpretations blog of literary works. I'd read it! :) Miss your voice.

Corinne said...

Thank you so much for this. It cracked me up after a horrid time and I must say, it shows how much Jane A is always "in".

Corinne said...

Thank you so much for this. It cracked me up after a horrid time and I must say, it shows how much Jane A is always "in".

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SuperhyperSonic said...

Absolutely Brilliant.
Austen would approve :)

And loved "Mr.Collins used twitlonger" Hilarious.
And "LizzyB:
Ugh. You are the last man in the world whom I could ever be prevailed upon to marry. kaithksbye"
Hahaha

Briliant!

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this was really funny! thanks for making my day! :)

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Thank u for the fabulous work

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I particularly enjoyed Lizzy's "like duh" and Charlotte's "you will tweet me won't you". Jane in the time of Twitter.