Vacation, all I ever wanted...

I could tell you about...

1) The elderly couple in an elderly pick up truck that rolled into the Zeller's parking lot last week with a three-year-old girl perched lovingly on her grandma's lap. I did a double take and then another. I fretted as I watched them walk into the store. I looked in the empty truck where there was nary a car seat to be found. I fretted some more. I suffered moral equivocation based on class and a whole host of other factors. I cursed my propensity toward moral equivocation. My mind went blank. I simply did not know what to do, standing there as I was with a hungry four-year-old in tow.

Twelve hours later, finally I had a game plan in place for the next time I see someone driving with a small child on their lap. Shit load of good hindsight is when one is faced with a delicate ethical and blatantly illegal situation.

2) My daughter, who is playing soccer and riding a bike and pretending to be just about every child on the planet except the one I gave birth to. That doesn't stop her from wanting to re-enact her own birth multiple times a day. Sometimes, I could do with just a little less pretending in my house. She even fancies herself a bit of a Rich Little as she offers up vocal impersonation after vocal impersonation of just about every kid in her class. She was born for the theatre, this one.

3) My garden and all the hope it gives me in early June before the slugs awaken.

4) My take on Internet feminism and Internet motherhood and all those other evangelical practices on teh Internets.

5) The sunless tanning product I was foolish enough to buy in a weak moment on Friday. Yes, I still have winter white thighs, only now they are more noticeable against my freakish orange hands. Vanity, vanity, all is vanity.

6) But mostly, I don't want to talk about anything. I just want to take a summer vacation from blogging and blog reading. And that's what I plan to do. I may come back with my annual recap of Shakespeare in the park in early July but otherwise I'll catch you all on the flip side. Enjoy the sun and see you in September.

In the meantime, feel free to discuss any of the above. Just remember, I don't take kindly to people bitch slapping feminism or mothers. Internet evangelism, on the other hand, is fair game.

A Poetic Lament

Number of people who typically read one of my posts: 60-100.

Number of people who have read Pride and Twitterverse: 2,300 and counting.

Who would have thought the boolean venn diagram for Austen and Twitter would've had that much overlap? (Oh yaaaa, always the librarian geek.)

Now that my 15 minutes have just about ticked dead, it's high time I returned to my regularly scheduled blogging.



The Nonlinear family welcomed two new babes last Friday which means I am long overdue with a shower gift. My dear Mo-Wo asked us all to give her the gift of books, and so allow me to recommend:

Here's a Little Poem: A Very First Book of Poetry, compiled by Jane Yolen and Peter Fusek Peters



There are not many (non-nursery rhyme) collections of children's poetry that cater to the 0-4 age range. This one is spectacular. Illustrated by Polly Dunbar, the collection is so much whimsy and fun:


The book is divided into 4 chapters: Me, Myself and I, Who Lives in My House, I Go Outside, and Time for Bed. None of the poems is esoteric, antiquated or remote; instead each bursts with energy and joy. Key figures in the canon of children's poetry are included: A.A. Milne, Langston Hughes, Mary Ann Hoberman, Jack Prelutsky and Grace Nichols to name just a few.

It also happens to be the perfect book to have around when you've got a small child nipping at your heels and two newborn babes nipping at your other parts. Its large pages and text make it easy to read from afar, most of the poems are easily memorized, and the illustrations draw the child viewer in--independent from the adult reader. The poems tell of babies and children, siblings and pets, the small magic of home and the importance of the broader world in our lives.

When Mo-Wo wrote her shower gift post for the Nonlinear's, she talked about the intersection of books and community, and she then extrapolated as to the importance of these virtual communities that we've created in rounding out our lives. In participating in this virtual shower, I want to take Mo-Wo's ideas and turn them back to the outside world.

You see, I read a bunch of these poems to Miss M's day care class yesterday. They were a huge hit. When I came home I watched news coverage of the layoffs of many of my province's remaining school library assistants. The province where I live has the lowest literacy rates in Canada. It also has the worst record when it comes to supporting school libraries. Coincidence? Over the last decade or so, one bumbling government after another has razed our school library system: first teacher librarians were all but eliminated and then resource budgets were cut and cut and then cut some more. This latest round of cuts has targeted the last of the library staff responsible for aiding literacy. Sure there has been a tiny whimper of public protest, but, by and large, the cuts have simply passed into public consciousness as being unfortunate but oddly inevitable. The passing of the school library? It merits a sentimental tear but surely it's as certain as the obsolesence of the wringer washer or the 8-track tape. Isn't it?

And so, Nonlinear family--and all of you other members of my virtual community--I would like to give to you the gift of childhood poetry. I would also like to ask you all to fight tenaciously for libraries in our culture and for the trained professionals needed to run them and make them grow. A library without a librarian is, after all, an empty bookshelf.

Pride and Twitterverse

TheRealJaneAusten:
It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of good fortune must be in want of a wife.

MrsB:
A Mr Bingley--worth 50,000 followers a year--has joined Twitter! He's brought a friend, Mr Darcy--worth 100,000 followers a year! Pls RT

MrsB:
@JaneB @LizzyB @MaryBsaphorisms @KittyB @LydiaB I will have one of you girls married into internet fame yet. Just you wait.

LizzyB:
@MrsB But mother, I think we can pull ourselves up by our dooce-straps just fine.

MrsB:
Blogcasting: How to find husbands for your daughters: http://tinyurl/momblog Now with free giveaway from our Etsy embroidery shop. Pls RT

LizzieB:
@JaneB If I could love a man who would love me enough to take me for a mere 50 followers, I should be well pleased...

LizzieB:
@JaneB ...but such a man wouldn’t be sensible & I could never love a man who was out of his twits. LOL

JaneB:
Oh @LizzyB, it is my ardent wish to marry 4 love. Love, respect AND dual laptops would be most agreeable. #iamdullbutpretty

CubicleSurfer:
Does anyone know what #Bingley is and why it’s suddenly the no. 1 trending topic?

BoredInTheBurbs:
@CubicleSurfer I think #Bingley’s a he and I’m pretty sure he just died.

POPlovesPOP:
@CubicleSurfer @BoredInTheBurbs No, I’m pretty sure #Bingley’s the new Idol. That doesn’t explain why he’s the no. 1 trending topic, tho.

MaryBsAphorisims:
It behooves us all to resist the temptation of #Idol chatter

MaryBsAphorisims:
I can’t believe I lost 5 followers with that last Tweet. What’s WRONG with you people?

LydiaB:
@JaneB @LizzyB @MaryBsaphorisms @KittyB There's going to be a dance!!! Squeeee!!! I won't sit down all night.

JaneB:
@LizzyB @MaryBsaphorisms @KittyB @LydiaB Do any of you know what you're wearing to the dance? I was thinking virginal white.

LydiaB:
@JaneB @LizzyB @MaryBsaphorisms @KittyB What I wouldn't give for this: http://tiny.cc/S6s7h& a pair of Jimmy Choos. It’s positively #Bella.

KittyB:
@LydiaB No fair! You stole that URL from MY del.icio.us. #sisterfail

LydiaB:
@KittyB del.icio.us? Are you kidding me? How positively 2007. #epicsisterfail

MaryBsAphorisms:
@JaneB @LizzyB @KittyB @LydiaB I confess a dance has few charms for me—I should infinitely prefer a modest Christian blog.

[Email from Twitter to LydiaB: VampireShoeShop is now following you on Twitter. You may follow VampireShoeShop by clicking the Follow button on their profile.]

Bingley:
@Darcy I can hardly wait to dance with @JaneB. She is the most capital girl I have ever met. #loveat1stsight

Darcy:
@Bingley Any savage can dance. #proofofmysuperiority

Bingley:
@Darcy JaneB's sister, Lizzy is pretty. You could dance with her. It would be capital fun.

Darcy:
@Bingley She's tolerable, but she is not handsome enough to tempt me. Also: could you stop saying "capital" so much? #abovemypeers

LizzyB:
@CharlotteL RT @D*rcy "She is tolerable. But she is not handsome enough to tempt me." #twitteratiRtwats #takeyrtweetsprivatefool

LizzyB:
@JaneB @MrsB I may safely promise you never to dance with Mr. D*rcy.

MaryBsAphorisms:
I loves me a stately piano concerto. ♫ http://blip.fm/~6kg1t from Blip.fm

LydiaB:
Oh, @MaryBsAphorisms, you silly goose. No one wants to hear that stodgy old song. We long to dance. Blip us Grimstock.

MaryBsaphorisms:
If I must but I take no joy in it: ♫ http://blip.fm/~6khd6 from Blip.fm

JaneB:
@Bingley Demure grin

Bingley:
@JaneB Capital! Capital indeed!

MrsB:
My @JaneB was much admired at the dance. #Bingley danced with her twice. Post to follow. Pls RT.

Darcy:
Women? There are not ½ dozen who I would consider accomplished. #fb

LizzyB:
@Darcy Like duh. I’m surprised YOU know 6. #urstillavirgin

Darcy:
@LizzyB FYI, it has been the study of my life to avoid those weaknesses which often expose a strong understanding to ridicule.

LizzyB:
@Darcy Like, oh I dunno, pride perhaps? Vanity? Self-righteous tweeting?

Darcy:
@LizzyB Pride—where there is a real superiority of mind, pride will be always under good regulation.

LizzyB:
@Darcy Which one of your last 3 tweets would you like me to nominate for http://tweetingtoohard.com/ ? ‘Cause I think they’re all winners.

Darcy:
@LizzyB Clearly, there is in every disposition a tendency to some particular evil. Yes, I’m tweeting at you.

LizzyB:
@Darcy Yours is to hate everyone.

Darcy:
@LizzyB Where yours is to misunderstand them.

Darcy:
@Darcy Oooo. Having a little twit snit are we, Mr Darcy?

MaryBsAphorisms:
Pride is a very common failing. By all that I have ever read, I am convinced that it is very common indeed.

MaryBsAphorisms:
Ah but, vanity & pride are different things. Pride relates to our opinion of ourselves, vanity to what we would have others think of us.

MaryBsAphorisms:
What’s with all the dead air out here 2night? Is twitter down again or something?

Mrs B:
Hubs is in his study AGAIN. He has no consideration for my nerves. It vexes me terribly.

LydiaB:
Support our troops! #followfriday @cnlfoster @mrsfoster @regiment @denny @sanderson @wickham Squeee!!!

LizzyB:
@LydiaB Stop twirting. You will get a reputation as the most determined twirt that twitter has ever seen.

Darcy:
I have been meditating on the very great pleasure which a pair of fine eyes in the face of a pretty woman can bestow. #fb

Darcy:
[Find People on Twitter:
Who are you looking to find? LizzyB]

Darcy:
@biz Why must avatar pictures be so small? #twitterfail

CharlotteL:
@LizzyB Darcy keeps looking at your profile. What’s up with that?

LizzyB:
@CharlotteL I dunno but it’s freaking my shit out. Srsly.

[Email from Twitter to LizzyB: Wickham is now following you on Twitter. You may follow Wickham by clicking the Follow button on their profile.]

Wickham:
Oh woe is me!

Wickham:
How unlucky my lot in life has been!

Wickham:
I am so sick of my friends. If you can even call them that...

LizzyB:
@Wickham Ok, I’ll bite. What’s up?

Wickham:
@LizzyB If only I, honest son of an honest Linux programmer, had not been so grievously wronged by a certain proud, 2.0-savvy man.

LizzyB:
@Wickham RU talking about who I think UR talking about? Developed DRM for I-phone apps? Oprah & Ashton follow him? Follows only 5 tweeps?

Wickham:
@LizzyB The very same. He cheated me out of the open source living his father had promised me. Who could wrong one so noble as me? Oh noes!

LizzyB:
@Wickham Ugh. Further proof of why I hate the Twitterati. Except @theBloggess. She cracks my shit up AND she is a model of propriety.

Wickham:
@LizzyB You seem like a fair minded woman and I desperately need a twosse. Would you like to hear more of my grievances?

LizzyB:
@Wickham Bring ‘em on.

MaryBsAphorisms:
It behooves us all to take very careful thought before pronouncing an adverse judgment on any of our fellow men.

MaryBsAphorisms:
For once, your silence is golden. Thank you, tweeple.

MrCollins:
@MrsB @JaneB @LizzyB @MaryBsaphorisms @KittyB @LydiaB I have it on authority from Lady Oprah de Bourgh that marriage would behoove a man of m... (read more via Twitlonger)

MrsB:
@LizzyB @MaryBsaphorisms @KittyB @LydiaB One of u MUST marry yr cousin, MrCollins. The PC, both laptops & the wireless are entailed to him.

LizzyB, MaryBsaphorisms, KittyB, LydiaB:
@MrsB Ew. We’d rather live off-grid.

MrCollins:
@LizzyB Since accepting my friend request on Facebook, Lady Oprah de Bourgh has condescended to write on my wall as often as once a year in ... (read more via Twitlonger)

MrCollins:
@LizzyB My reasons for marrying are, 1st, that I think it a proper, nay logical, step in developing my ministwee, 2 that it would please my ... (read more via Twitlonger)

MrCollins:
@LizzyB Which brings me to my choice of you as the particular object of my heart’s desire. Your lowly station, situated as you are with 5 si ... (read more via Twitlonger)

LizzyB:
@MrCollins You flatter me greatly with this proposal, but allow me to say AS IF!

MrsB:
@LizzyB @MrCollins LIZZY! NO!!!!! However will I blog when your father is dead and in his grave?

[Friend or Follow: Enter your username: LizzieB
Lizzie B is following MrsB but MrsB no longer follows LizzyB]

MrsB:
Oh, I have such a headache. And no one in this house cares one bit for my suffering. Please let there be new comments on my last post.

[Email from Twitter to CharlotteL: MrCollins is now following you on Twitter. You may follow MrCollins by clicking the Follow button on their profile.]

MrCollins:
Lady Oprah de Bourgh has made it clear that I should make a prudent match as is most befitting a clergyman of my standing and circumstances ... (read more via Twitlonger)

CharlotteL:
@MrCollins I’m all ears. Let’s take it to email, for you are too great a man to be confined by 140 chars.

MrCollins:
@CharlotteL: Oh my dearest heart…

…

MrCollins:
I simply cannot wait to disclose to Lady Oprah de Bourgh knowledge of my recent matrimonial joy with Miss C Lucas who has graciously accepte ... (read more via Twitlonger)

LizzyB:
@CharlotteL: Engaged to Mr. Collins! My dear Charlotte—impossible!

CharlotteL:
@LizzyB I am not romantic. I never was. I ask only for a comfortable home.

CharlotteL:
@LizzyB you will tweet to me, won't you? I don't think I could bear going if you didn't tweet to me.

LizzyB:
@CharlotteL Of course. I’ll even visit you on Facebook but promise me I won’t have to read Mr Collins’ blog.

Darcy:
@Bingley: I think it’s time we both quit Twitter for a while and went back to blogging. These tweeple are beneath us.

Bingley:
@Darcy But, but... Oh if you insist. You are the most capital fellow I have ever met, after all. #Iamapatsy

Wickham:
I just joined a twibe: LittleLadyLovers

JaneB:
@LizzyB Bingley has left Twitter. I must summon the fortitude to overcome this.

LizzyB:
@JaneB I'm sure he loves you still. Why don’t you get a blogger account so you can keep in touch? Our aunt & uncle will let you guest post.

JaneB:
You may be right, @Lizzy. I will comment as demurely as I am able to.

Darcy:
DM to @LizzyB
In vain I have struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire & love you.

[series of DMs between LizzyB and Darcy]

LizzyB:
WTF?

LizzyB:
Can you deny that you made Bingley quit Twitter thus destroying my sister’s chance for happiness?

Darcy:
I cannot. I even deleted all her comments on his blog so he wouldn’t know she was reading. Marry me anyway?

LizzyB:
And don’t even get me started on your offenses to poor Wickham.

Darcy:
Wickham? Oh yes, poor downtrodden Wickham. #eyeroll

LizzyB:
Gah! You are so haughty!

Darcy:
And you are such a hotty.

LizzyB:
Ugh. You are the last man in the world whom I could ever be prevailed upon to marry. kaithksbye

[Msg to LizzyB from Twitter: Are you sure you want to block Darcy? BLOCK]

EMAIL FROM DARCY TO LIZZYB:
You have blocked me on Twitter which leaves me no other recourse than to email you an honest account of my dealings with Mr Wickham. In short, he is a pedi-perv who tried to bone my sister when she was but 15. He had hoped to marry her for her fortune, but I stopped him. So there.

[Msg fwd to JaneB from LizzyB]

LizzyB:
@JaneB Oh shit. Have I ever made a mistake. Darcy = good. Wickham = bad.

JaneB:
@Lizzy: Whaaa? Wickham’s a pedi-perv? Let’s not tell anyone, ‘kay?

LizzyB:
@JaneB: Pinky promise.

JaneB:
@LizzyB: Pinky promise.

LydiaB:
Mrs Foster has invited me to Brighton to flirt with the Red Coats. SQUEEEEE!!!!

LydiaB:
@Wickham I do hope I will c u there. DM me to let me know if you can cum.

LizzyB:
Am taking a social networking webinar paid for by my Aunt & Uncle. Hope to learn lots.

LizzyB:
@JaneB Get this! We have to review Darcy’s blog. He has the most beautiful template I’ve ever seen.

LizzyB:
@JaneB Holy crap! He just tracked my IP through site meter. AM MORTIFIED!!!

LizzyB:
@JaneB But for some strange reason, he friended me on FB instead of getting mad. Colour me confused.

LizzyB:
@JaneB And now both he AND his sister have left kind messages on my wall. He even liked my status. I am all wonder.

JaneB:
DM to @LizzyB
Lydia has eloped with Wickham. She is ruined. Log off the computer and come downstairs at once.

LizzyB:
[Unblock Darcy]
DM to @Darcy
My sister's run off with Wickham. She has 20 followers. He has no reason to marry her. We are ruined & it's all my fault for not outing him.

Darcy:
I will be offline for the foreseeable future. #fb

LizzyB:
@JaneB We ARE ruined. @Darcy has made it clear that he’d rather give up the Internet than share it with me. #sigh

MaryBsAphorisms:
Loss of virtue in a female is irretrievable. A woman's reputation is no less brittle than it is beautiful.

[Email from Twitter to MaryBsAphorisms: Sexxygrl232 is now following you on Twitter. You may follow Sexxygrl232 by clicking the Follow button on their profile.]

MaryBsAphorisms:
I just scored another follower. Yesss!!

LydiaB:
@MrsB You will laugh mother, when you know what I have done. I have married...Wickham!

Mrs B:
@LydiaB Married? You are indeed married? Oh my dear girl. Post to follow. Pls RT

LydiaB:
@LizzyB The wedding was small but lovely. If only Darcy hadn’t been there.

LizzyB:
@LydiaB Whaaaaaa?

LydiaB:
@LizzieB Oh crap. I wasn’t supposed to tell.

Darcy:
I’m back. Did anybody miss me? #fb

Bingley:
So happy to be back! Twitter is the most capital place I’ve ever known! Thanks for giving me the go-ahead to come back, @Darcy.

Bingley:
@JaneB Waves

JaneB:
@Bingley Demure grin

Bingley:
@JaneB Marry me?

JaneB:
@Bingley In a heartbeat. Most demure grin EVER.

Lady Oprah de Bourgh:
@LizzyB I heard a twumer that you plan to marry @Darcy. He is too popular a Tweep for you. You’ll bring us all down. I FORBID it.

LizzieB:
@Oprah Helloooo! Since when are tweeps celebrity sheep? ... Fine. Point taken, but screw you anyway. #herebeforeoprah

Darcy:
@LizzyB You got guts girl, pissing off @Oprah like that. I admire your spunk.

LizzieB:
@Darcy I must thank you for your kindness to my poor sister. Buying out that open source asshat of a husband must have cost you a fortune.

Darcy:
@LizzieB: I did it all for you. Please tell me you no longer think I’m a twit.

LizzieB:
@Darcy: Oh never a twit. I once thought you were a twat but all is forgotten.

Darcy:
@LizzyB My feelings and intentions have not changed. One tweet from you will silence me forever.

LizzieB:
@Darcy I heart you. Truly.

Darcy:
@LizzieB YAY! I’ll tweet your father to ask for your hand.

LizzieB:
@Darcy: Oh you’ll never find him on twitter. Being married to a social-networking mommy blogger keeps his nose in the books.

Darcy:
@LizzyB: Fine. I’ll take this off line. Care to join me?

LizzieB:
I am yours: virtually AND corporally.

TheRealJaneAusten:
'Night Tweeps.

___________________________________________________
Thanks to:
Jane Austen and Andrew Davies (screenwriter for the 1995 BBC miniseries)
@cribchronicles @maryLUE and @threeandholding: my consultants on all things twitty
Painted Maypole for laying down the challenge in the Monday Mission (2 days late, sorry)

Just Another Manic Monday Mission

My parenthood: The all-80s retro video dance mix:

Trying to Conceive
Adult Education
Original Sin
...
I See Red
...
Why Me?
Don't Stop Believin'
I Want Your Sex
...
The Lady in Red
...
Method of Modern Love
The Stroke
...
99 Red Ballons
...
All I need is a Miracle
Against All Odds
One Night Love Affair
One Thing Leads to Another
...
Borderline

Prenatal
Cruel Summer
My Ever Changing Moods
Don't Worry, Be Happy
I Want Candy
Invisible Touch
Only Time Will Tell
Big in Japan
It's the End of the World as We Know It

Labour and Delivery
King of Pain
Down Under
...
Doctor, Doctor
...
Do you Really Want To Hurt Me?
Take My Breath Away
Relax
...
Don't Dream It's Over
The Longest Time
Don't be Cruel
It Cuts Like a Knife
Love will tear us apart
How Soon is Now?
...
Dr. Feelgood
Oblivious
...
Under Pressure
Urgent

Age 0-1
And she was
Alive and Kicking
Hold Me Now
Waiting for a Girl Like You
Every Breath You Take
Love Walks In
Babe
I Melt With You
Cradle of Love
...
Bizarre Love Triangle
...
Free Fallin'
All Through the Night
Black Coffee in Bed
Things Can Only Get Better
...
When I See You Smile
Peek-a-boo
Mama
All of My Heart
Born to be my Baby
Mad about You
Spellbound

Age 1-2
Walk this Way
Head over heels
Catch Me, I'm Falling
I'll Tumble For Ya
Run to You
Running Up That Hill
...
Don't Stand So Close to Me
Chains of Love
Children of the Night
...
And we Danced
We got the Beat
...
Words
Talk, talk*
...
Caught up in you
Crazy Little Thing Called Love

Age 2-3
Rebel Yell
Shout
Raise a little hell
Eat it
...
Tenderness
...
Jump
...
Pretty in Pink
Good Girls Don't
...
Talking In Your Sleep
Shadows of the Night
Leave a Light on for Me
Sweet Dreams
...
Too Shy

Age 3-4
Everybody Wants to Rule the World
Love is a Battlefield
...
Only You
Open Arms
...
Once in a Lifetime
Lessons in Love
...
Girls Just Want to Have Fun
Let's Dance
...
Don't Talk to Strangers
...
A Little Respect
She Drives Me Crazy
You Spin Me Round
...
Forever Young

Age 4-now
Don't You Want Me Baby?
...
Goody Two Shoes
...
Fantasy
I Want to Be a Cowboy
Games Without Frontiers
...
Every Little Thing She Does is Magic
Everlasting Love
Just Like Heaven
Just What I Needed
Sweet Child o' Mine

Future
Dancing With Myself
So Far Away
Still Loving You
Don't You Forget About Me
Enjoy the Silence
Always Something There to Remind Me
Future's So Bright, I've Got to Wear Shades
Alone

____________________________________

There you have it: a change from the Every Day I Write the Blog Book.

Sincerely, your Monday Missionary (Wo)man.

For more rockin' Monday Missions, check out Painted Maypole; she's no Uptown Girl but a Hot Child in the City.

*OK, so I cheated and used 1 band name instead of song title... and, in case you are wondering, there are 124 YouTube links in this post. There was not a single 80s song I wanted to use that wasn't on YouTube. Oh internet, my great love, you never let me down.

Sinking feeling

Kitchen reno redux ad nauseum, ad infinitum, ad latinate verbiage for no good reason.

Remember my new kitchen?



Remember how I consulted extensively with you all about which sink to get? After reading all your comments back at the beginning of January and talking it over with the chief dishwasher in the family, we decided to go for a classic double bowl sink wherein both bowls were the same size. We also decided to get an oversized sink because we had the space for it and because it would make jobs like cleaning the fish tank much easier.

Well, that was all fine and dandy, except that no where in town stocked over-sized, equal bowl sinks and the waiting period to order one was two weeks minimum--more time than our contractors had alloted. Sooooo, we settled for an over-sized, double-bowl-of-different-sizes sink. (It so turns out that the contractors got pokey and we would've had time to get the sink we really wanted had we but known, but I guess that's water under sour grapes or some such thing.)

So, we got this really great, high-end sink. I was thrilled with it at first. The big bowl is huge. It fits all our trays, the fish tank, the big mop bucket, you name it... The small bowl is a bit too small but, so far, Mad Dad has been able to use it to dry dishes in and that's what he wanted it for. Yay. The problem is, and heed this warning carefully all ye would-be renovators: the faucet holes are located behind the small bowl and not in the middle of the sink where they should be.

Our first faucet, pictured above, was my choice and, sadly, it was a bust. I spent a good two days on Facebook mocking Mad Dad's desire for an ugly Victorian style faucet. I showed off the gleaming pullout capabilities of the stainless steel wonder you have pictured before you. The contractors installed the faucet and immediately threw out the packaging. Within 24 hours, we knew we were in trouble. You see, the spout part, which had to be mounted in the centre hole because it sits on a metal plate, barely reached the big sink. Its reach was so puny that it made it all but impossible to rinse dishes or wash hands. This Price Pfister faucet also had the annoying habit of working only with the water on full blast. If one wanted to do the finesse work of rinsing individual strawberrries, say, the handle would succumb to gravity and shut off.

Oh, but it was pretty and the sprayer made the dish suds rise with hardly any soap at all. Because we no longer had the packaging, Home Depot would not let us return it even though it had only been installed a day. Mad Dad and I do not like to burn money, and so we made a pact; we would suffer with this faucet for one year and then have it replaced. At that point, we would offer the faucet to a friend with a sensible sink.

Ah, but then my big brother came to visit two weeks ago and he told me that he knows how to replace a faucet AND that he would do it for us. Enter the Moen pull-down of my dreams:



My brother spent a full afternoon installing it while I took my sister-in-law to the downtown shops. When I got home, I was smitten. The spout part got placed in the left-most hole such that it could adequately reach the big sink. The high arc on the faucet meant that rinsing dishes was a breeze. Furthermore, it had precision control of water flow and water temperature. In short, it was divine.

Mad Dad came home from work an hour later and said, "too bad our kitchen window won't open now." Doh! None of us had noticed that the faucet was high enough to block the swing-out kitchen window. My heart sank. Here my brother had done all this work, and I was such an idiot that I hadn't noticed the serious flaw when I bought the damn thing. My brother left the next morning and we were back to square one.

Ah but, my brother had left us with something we didn't have before: DIY confidence (not to mention the original packaging and receipt for the Moen faucet). Mad Dad removed the faucet that my bro' had put in and we went shopping for a one that would work with all our annoying constraints. And you know what we ended up with? The very faucet Mad Dad wanted in the first place.



It was the only faucet in the whole city that would work. I guess if you have to eat crow, the kitchen's as good a place as any to do it in.

The new faucet (Delta) is prettier than I thought it would be and it works well enough, but after spending four months with a pull-down faucet, it's so hard to go back to the old-style side sprayer. Now I fear that I will spend the rest of my days longing for the intense sudsy spray of the Price Pfister and the precision functioning of the Moen. Oh well, at least I can find contentment as the soft summer breezes play on my face through my now open window.